Series: The Original Series
Air Date: March 7, 1969
Written by: Gene Roddenberry and Arthur Heinemann
Directed by: Herschel Daughtery
Kirk and Spock are pitted with and against galactic historical figures in a competition between good and evil. Abraham Lincoln runs out of vampires to hunt.
While exploring a planet that is completely inhospitable to carbon-based life, the Enterprise inexplicably picks up carbon-based life signs. Kirk is about to give up on the life signs due to the toxic nature of the planet when suddenly ABRAHAM LINCOLN! The tallest president appears on screen and says something along the lines of, "Yes, I know, you don't think I'm real, but I assure you I am. You can bring me aboard and examine me when you pass over my position on the planet in 12 minutes." Meanwhile, a space about the size and shape of Australia on the planet forms into a habitable, Earth-like atmosphere and Kirk is convinced that his personal hero must come aboard.
Lincoln takes a look around the ship and is rightfully impressed by all the technical wonders that abound. He's also impressed that Kirk had his crew give full presidential honors, with dress uniforms and everything. Bones, however, is not impressed that he's dressing up for someone who can't possibly be Lincoln. Scotty's a little irate about it, too. Meanwhile, Lincoln visits the bridge and is quite impressed by Uhura. And Uhura is pleased to tell him about the progress the human race has made. And although Lincoln remembers everything from his day, he doesn't remember anything prior to that, and he seems to know a lot about Vulcan philosophy for whatever reason.
|"And you're sure, Mr. Spock, that you are not a vampire?"|
Of course, Kahless the Unforgettable doesn't have any ridges on his head, as he would have since he existed before the advent of the augment virus, but the Excalbians have no concept of Klingons; they're just going off of what the Enterprise crew knew, and they'd only seen flat-headed Klingons. The image of Kahless is just about as off as the image of Colonel Green who, in reality, had thinner eyebrows, bigger ears and a better fashion sense. Genghis is fatter and stupider than he's known to be and Zora is... well, for all we know she could be a perfect representation. Lincoln and Surak, however, look and act exactly as they're supposed to. So, clearly, this is an even match.
|"Wait, who am I playing again?"|
Lincoln sneaks around the back way and finds Surak all tied up. He unties him... and Surak falls to the ground dead. When Lincoln looks around, he sees Green and Kahless. Kahless doing his best Surak impression to show that the Vulcan was dead all along. Lincoln walks back to Kirk and Spock, but before he reaches them, he falls over to reveal a spear through his back. Kirk and Spock continue the battle. They end up killing Colonel Green and Kahless, and the other two run away... because they weren't really contributing anything anyway. Team Good wins!
|"Congratulations. Cake will be provided in the lobby."|
This is, of course, a classic episode, but the biggest thing I take away from it is that Excalbians are jerks. Yarnek claimed that the purpose for their charade was to gain knowledge, the same thing the Federation wanted to do, but they could have just interviewed people. Didn't have to threaten death. Then again, they don't know what evil is, so death must be just another thing to them. In either case, they're never joining the Federation.